So… I don’t know how to say it… so I guess I’ll just say it:
I’m writing a book!
Yup. I am.
It’s actually a secret right now… I haven’t told anyone except for Tyler. But I suppose if you’re reading this, I’ve decided to un-secret it.
I have a few reasons for keeping it on the D.L. for right now.
1. I want to write the book and not just talk about writing a book.
It’s all too easy to talk about the things we plan on doing rather than just doing them. At least it is for me. Some people use public sharing as a form of accountability, but for me, it can be a distraction. I get caught up in all the plans, systems, and methods that I’m doing instead of just doing the thing. So, rather than making a bunch of pomp and circumstance around it, I figured I would just actually do it and maybe tell people about it when I was done or something. I’m not sure when I’ll let the cat out of the bag, but right now it’s too soon.
2. I don’t want to feel obliged to share or finish it for other people.
I want to write this book for me. And I have been. I know that the finished product is about more than just me, but the process is for me. I’m not doing this for the end result, I am doing it for the journey. Keeping this a secret for now lets it be what I want it to be for me. I can show up when I want to. I can write as much as I want to (or as little as I want to). I don’t have people checking in or asking about it. And with this being my first real attempt at writing a book, I think I need that.
3. It’s not a big deal when I’m just doing it for myself and not an audience.
I have a fear that once I put it out there, it’ll become real and be this thing and all of a sudden there will be pressure and a fear about how my work will be interpreted or if it’s good enough or original enough or whatever. I know those sorts of thoughts kind of come with the territory of being a writer, but I’d rather have a draft done before I begin doubting my voice. Right now, keeping it to myself, I can just play and allow it all to flow and go wherever it takes me. It’s freeing because only I have to enjoy it.
So… yeah. It may be a secret but I am writing a book right now. And I’m excited and enjoying it!
And while it honestly doesn’t feel like that big of a deal anymore, it’s taken me so long to get to this point that I thought I’d at least document some of it.
I feel like there are so many people out there looking for advice on how to write a book or how to get started or whatever. I know I was one of them. I searched and searched and searched until I became a sponge that could absorb nothing more.
And after reading all of that advice, I realized that… all you have to do to get started is… to get started.
That’s it. Just begin writing your story. You don’t need fancy software, an editorial calendar, a highly detailed plot, the perfect character names. You don’t need accountability apps or a writing group, or a word count that you hit daily. Or who knows? Maybe you do. But I found out that I didn’t really need those things.
What I really needed was… confidence. Courage? But oh, that’s a whole other story — that’s a book in itself, right? Finding a sense of inner-trust and stability and confidence and journey has been 28 years in the making — and it’s a journey I’m still on. And that’s why I want to do these book updates because I want to share more about finally getting to this point — because I want to help other creatives who also struggle with tons of inner-resistance.
More about the book I’m writing:
So, this technically isn’t the first book I’ve written… I’ve done NaNoWriMo a couple of times in the past. But to be honest, that was all about the challenge and the word count rather than being about an actual story that had some real bones to it. Although those stories started off semi-promising, they usually turned into me just trying to reach 50,000 words before the month’s end. I honestly have never really looked at those drafts ever again.
This story, however… I think it may be something. I like it. I’m taking it slowly, writing a little bit each day. There’s no rush and I’m allowing myself to enjoy being in the world that’s being created for this story.
To be honest, I’ve felt capable of writing a book for a while now, but I’ve never felt like I had the right story. Nothing really captivated my interest. And also, for the past several years, I thought the book I would write would be non-fiction. Not only because of my training (communication and journalism), but I tend to read mostly non-fiction and it’s what I prefer to write. However, fiction just felt right for this story.
You know, I used to love fiction a lot — it’s all I read when I was younger. But as I grew up, I just had trouble finding fiction that I really loved as much as those young adult novels and children’s series. There were exceptions, of course, but I used to read fiction all the time. Now, it’s once in a blue moon.
So, my approach to writing this story — and what makes it fun — is I’m writing the story that I want to read. I’m writing the story I wish I could find on the shelves of Barnes & Noble.
I have this little placard on my bulletin board that I got from my Happy Mail subscription and it says: “Create the Things You Wish Existed.” And I thought: “You know what? I totally should.”
So, that’s it for this first little book update. I’m going to try and check in weekly with progress reports or just thoughts/reflections I have on the book writing process. And maybe someday these little updates will be public. Only time will tell, I guess!