How to Become “That Grateful Person” That You Never Thought You’d Be

I woke up naturally this morning after one of the best sleeps I had had in a long time.

And unlike other mornings, my mind wasn’t racing or I wasn’t up and trying to do things right away. Instead, I was still but with a slight smile on my face.

I began to think about just how happy I am right now.

Even with all the uncertainty and all the scary things that have been going on with my body. I’m so happy because… I feel like I have been given a chance to really see my life differently — to really live in it from a different point of view.

And if you can begin to understand a little about where I was at before this — the depressed, ashamed fog of mere existence that I had been living in — that is one of the most liberating feelings ever!

I’m so overwhelmed by my feelings this morning because I’m just so deeply grateful. I mean, at a level I have never felt it before — one that I didn’t know existed when I set out to do my gratitude project last year.

It’s so funny to me now that gratitude was something that made me resentful, that gratitude was something I desperately wanted to run away from. Because right now, it feels so natural and easy. But I also know that this feeling has come from about two and a half years of taking steps to intentionally cultivate it in my life.

But I wanted to capture and share this feeling because it’s foreign to me. I am seeing my life from a different perspective — everything feels brand new!

Some people would say I have more of a reason to be scared, to be stressed, to feel overwhelmed or negative. That that would be more justified now than ever.

But what I actually see is how loved I am by the people in my life — something I didn’t know or really believe before this. I didn’t know just how much my soul absolutely needed to know that.

I also see my life circumstances differently. Instead of seeing how things haven’t been working out according to these old expectations I’ve been carrying around since graduating college, I see just how I am so fortunate to have what I have — and the opportunities!

I see now how all that I have been going through has been helping me to get to this point — getting me closer to this deeper sense of acceptance and happiness that has always seemed to elude me.

For the past few years, I have been feeling very lost and yearning for purpose and to feel whole again.

I have been feeling broken — unlike myself and worried that I could never feel happy or hopeful in my skin again. I’ve been so unsatisfied — such in a state of longing for more… of never feeling like anything was ever enough.

There were bright moments for sure and miracles like meeting this guy… (who I can’t even begin to think about right now without crying big happy tears).

But even with the good, I still couldn’t get past what didn’t feel right. I couldn’t get past pressures and expectations and fears and anxieties. I couldn’t see clearly — myself, my life, my circumstances.

But today, I see it all from such a beautiful point of view.

It feels like freedom.

It feels like lightness and excitement and hope and possibility.

It feels exquisitely satisfying.

And I share it not to boast, but because I want other people to know it’s possible for them, too.

That’s what I couldn’t know from the other side — that it was truly possible to feel happy again, that I could really feel like this and somewhat effortlessly.

When you feel like you keep fighting, but you don’t know what for, it can be discouraging. And when you have so many stops and starts, when you have things work out and then not — it can take a huge toll.

But honestly, the pursuit of a better life — the actual process of trying is the most important thing.

If you only do one thing, you have to find a way to keep hoping, to keep believing that one day things will get better.

You have to keep doing the best you can and acknowledge that — give yourself credit. Because it all counts. It all counts.

And one day, it’ll just happen. It’ll happen so naturally — where all of a sudden, you see the ways in which the world around you has not necessarily changed, but YOU have. Your outlook. Your vision. Your experience. And it will be so, so, so worth it.

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